I don’t see him.  It.  And the blinds hurt my head.

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I am watching it. . . so are the renters.

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If you’ve never had the pleasure of seeing Stefan Bucher’s Daily Monster site, there is, in my humble opinion, no better way to start than with the ONLY cat monster in his 200 videos.

Oh–your people can be monsters, too. 

I’ve been attempting a little review and organization–I hope you’ve enjoyed my trip under the bed!  Now give me back my toys, I need them. . .they’re MINE. . .

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Panda was not a tuxedo, she was black and white in patches.  Her fur wasn’t messy-long, it was just not-short, not-long perfect.  It always smelled perfect too, like a mink coat.  She was the cleanest cat ever, and she cleaned everyone, even the humans, till they were up to her standards.  The humans thought she was adorable, and she got all kinds of goodies out of them as a result…they even gave her avocado peels that she licked clean ! After a while, she got to where she expected to be given something every time someone made something she wanted. 

One day, when she didn’t get any of the tuna being made (she didn’t know it had onions and mustard and Worcestershire sauce and other things in it), she decided to jump up and get some right off the plate.  She miscalculated, and landed with all four feet on the plate.  Her feet were covered with mayonnaise and she was horribly embarrassed.  She thought, “At least I’ll get what I lick off!” but when she ran away and licked it off she yarked and yarked, and realized why they didn’t give it to her in the first place.

 Moral: Sometimes it’s good if you don’t get everything you think you want, and sometimes the people who don’t give it to you are doing you a favor.

I’m attempting to organize a little–sadly, it involves a few days of reposts. *washes*

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I knew a cat once who was adopted by his humans when he was six months old–which was quite a surprise to them, because they thought he was six weeks old.  You see, he’d been starved when he was little, so he didn’t grow.  When they got him they loved him and fed him and he began to grow quite quickly.  He also began to throw up.  (Notice I say throw up…it was a good bit more active and violent than a nice controlled yark.)

His humans were concerned, and took him to the vet.  The vet explained that when cats started life starving, this was frequently the result–every time food is put down in front of them, they will eat as if they will not be fed again.  Then, they throw up.  The nice vet recommended a very digestible food, and the humans took my friend home.

After a while, he got used to the idea that there would always be food, and that he would always be loved and taken care of–his humans gave him a pet human, and he tried hard to take good care of it, to show his appreciation.  He never did quit throwing up, although it got to be infrequent–and his humans never got upset about it, even when it was inconvenient, because they knew it wasn’t anything he could help, not really.  They all loved each other till he got old and left.

There’s no moral here, unless there is.

I’m attempting to organize a little–please forgive a few days of reposts.

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Humans have learned to sit, perfectly well.  Unfortunately, you haven’t learned how to stretch.  You really need to be able to do both.  Here is a simple stretch for you–one we learn very early.

1.  Get out of your chair. 

2. Get on all fours on the floor. 

3. Drop your chest till it touches the floor. 

4. Stretch your front paws–um–hands–out in front of you as far as they can go.  Long nails are a real help here.

5. Stick out your bottom and see how much of your torso you can touch the floor with without backing up.  If you have a tail, it helps if you try to touch your head with it at this point in the stretch.

6. Yawn.

There, don’t you feel better?  Have a little something and a nap.  Do this again in five or six hours.

I’m attempting to organize a little, I hope you can be patient, there will be a few days of re-posts.

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Sometimes we wish that all our humans had claws.

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. . . they’re still younglings.

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They’re fun to bat before they bloom, they stick a stem up with the bud-holder on–but when they bloom the bees come.  Bees don’t like you to bat their flowers.

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I’m just fluffy.  I don’t need diet food.

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